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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27523258">Car Crash Aftermath Alternate Ending</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knew_at_This/pseuds/Knew_at_This'>Knew_at_This</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Emmerdale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, Nightmares, Robert-centric, Whump, mostly Robert's POV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 05:41:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,576</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27523258</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knew_at_This/pseuds/Knew_at_This</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Cannon compliant up until SSW16. This is my alternate ending where Robert doesn't escape the crash unscathed. Also maybe a confrontation in the Woolie when Chrissie finds out Robert and Rebecca slept together while they were engaged.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aaron Dingle &amp; Liv Flaherty &amp; Robert Sugden, Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden, Cain Dingle &amp; Robert Sugden, Chas Dingle &amp; Robert Sugden, Robert Sugden &amp; Victoria Sugden</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>104</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. In the hospital</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Robert was in a daze. He had followed Vic into her van and they were following an ambulance to Hotten General. He didn't think it was Aaron's ambulance, Robert had spent too long looking for Lachlan in the quarry for it to be Aaron's ambulance they were following. They're were quite a few called to the scene. It was a massive crash.  "<br/>
What was all that before? With Lachlan?"<br/>
It took Robert a second to even realize she had spoken, "Robert!"<br/>
"It doesn't matter!"<br/>
"Robert!!"<br/>
"It doesn't matter!!!" Robert added" anymore, alright?"<br/>
Vic looked at him,<br/>
"Please, Vic, I just--I need to know he's safe!"<br/>
Robert's head was pounding. Luckily, Vic didn't press the subject. She might've been talking, he wasn't really paying attention. His head was pounding and his vision kept doubling and focusing back into one. Everything hurt really, not just his head. It hurt to breath; his thought felt like he needed to cough, but he new if he did it would only hurt his ribs even more. So he focused on small, shallow breaths instead. His hands were shaking, but he wasn't sure if that was from the cold, the adrenalin, or the fear. It was probably all three.<br/>
Somehow it felt both like hours and mere seconds had passed when they finally parked at the hospital. The keys were barely out of the ignition before Vic and Robert were rushing inside.<br/>
Every step made Robert's lower calf sting, but he kept moving, thankful that his vision had mostly settled.<br/>
He spotted Adam.<br/>
"Where is he?"<br/>
"Surgery." Roberts stomach sank.<br/>
"What for?" His voice was too high.<br/>
"They said something about internal bleeding--I dunno"<br/>
"You dunno!!??"<br/>
"Robert!" Vic said, but Robert wasn't processing what they were saying. He couldn't seem to get enough air. He though it was something about Finn and James. He took a few breaths, as deep as he could, his hole chest ached with the effort.<br/>
Vic was hugging Adam now. James must have been hurt in the crash too.<br/>
At some point Vic and Adam went to the waiting area and Robert followed, not knowing what else to do.<br/>
He sat down across from them.<br/>
*"I'm trapped! I'm trapped I'm trapped I'm trappedI'mtraaapped!!!"*<br/>
More ambulances were coming in from the crash now.<br/>
*"You're stuck underneath the steering column, it's pretty bad, but we can do it together, okay?" *<br/>
Nurses were leaving their posts, rushing to help, calling others down to help.<br/>
*Robert could see Aaron was terrified, and so Robert was speaking a s calmly as he could. He new Aaron was barely keeping it together and if he let his own panic show, they were done for.*<br/>
There were gurneys rolling by, surrounded by doctors and nurses. He couldn't see their faces, and so every one looked like Aaron to him.<br/>
* "You've gotta go."<br/>
"No chance!"<br/>
"Robert, I am not having you dyin in here because of me!!!" If there had been enough air, it would have been a shout.<br/>
"I'm not leanin ya!!!No!!!"<br/>
"ROBERT!" Aaron almost shouted, "I love you, okay? I love you. Please, just go." *<br/>
Robert couldn't breath. The water was closing in around him and he couldn't breath, he couldn't breath, he couldn't breath. But he couldn't leave Aaron. So he ducked down one more time and--there was nothing there. There was no steering column. He was sitting in a shitty plastic waiting room chair, not shotgun in a submerged car.<br/>
He took a deep breath. It made his ribs ache like crazy, but the pain helped ground him. He took a few, more shallow breaths, and he stood up and crossed the room to sit down next to Vic.<br/>
He tossed his coat down next to him.<br/>
"Oh hey, I forgot. Did he say yes?"<br/>
* "I love you! Ya idiot!!--Aaron look out!!!"*<br/>
"I didn't get to ask--not properly."<br/>
Robert look down at his hands.<br/>
He saw Vic stand up from the corner of his eye, so he looked up. Chas and Liv had just walked into the waiting room and were heading straight for them. He stop slowly behind Vic, next to Adam. Stars swam before his eyes at the movement and his stomach churned. Chas looked straight at him and said something, but all he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears. Vic answered for him.<br/>
Chas hurried away for an update and Liv sat down across from him. His head cleared a bit and he was able to hear again, but now the noises were too loud.<br/>
There was a phone ringing at the front desk with no one there to answer it. There were machines beeping and doctors talking and sirens blaring just outside.<br/>
* "What's that for?" Aaron said, looking at the ring.*<br/>
"You saved him."<br/>
* "FOR YOU, YA IDIOT! SO I CAN ASK YOU TO MARRY ME!"*<br/>
"I-I dunno."<br/>
*"AARON LOOK OUT!"*<br/>
It was too loud. Robert couldn't sit here waiting any longer. He hadn't asked properly. He patted his pockets--nothing. He turned and grabbed Vic's keys, barely registering her protests. </p><p>Robert didn't remember driving to the quarry. He didn't notice all the tape and all the flashing lights and first responders still swarming the crash site. Down by the quarry there was no one.<br/>
So he ran into the water, stumbling as it got deeper and caught at his ankles. The water was so cold he could barely breath. It was so cold he didn't even notice the ache in his ribs anymore.<br/>
Robert could barely see the car, all he could tell was that he was at the right side. The ring was in the glove compartment, he could feel his way to it once he grabbed onto the open door.<br/>
He was at the car now, and he was already running out of breath. He moved as quickly as he could, but the cold slowed everything down, not to mention the fact that he was in water. His ears popped. He could feel the left one filling with water. He found the ring, He maneuvered out of the car and pushed off as hard as he could, his lungs burning, begging for air.<br/>
He was paddling and kicking as hard as he could, desperate to get to the surface. He had to see Aaron. He needed to know he was alright. He couldn't leave Aaron. His left ear filled with water.<br/>
He broke the surface and gasped for breath.<br/>
When he made it to shore, he lay there, only half out of the water, shivering, catching his breath. He was exhausted. He wanted to lie there for ever, but he looked at the ring box in his hand and he dragged himself up from the ground and back to the van.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Back at the hospital</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry it took me so long to update, I wrote like half the chapter and then fell asleep without saving, so I basically had to write it all twice 😤</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Robert gat back in the truck, he was shivering almost violently. He fumble with the keys, finally turning the car on. He blasted the heater and sat there as the truck turned practically into a sauna. It burnt at first, the way warmth always does when you've been too cold for too long. When his hands finally stopped burning in the heat from the vent, Robert drove back to the hospital. </p><p>"Oh don't hurry back or anything!" Liv said, angrily, but Robert didn't care.<br/>
"Is he out yet?"<br/>
Chas looked at him, "No."<br/>
Robert couldn't help it, his face fell.<br/>
"Come here!" Chas stood up and wrapped him in a big, motherly hug, but quickly pulled back and inspected him, "You're soaking!" she said, concerned.<br/>
"I had to go back."<br/>
Robert explained what happened in a daze. He responded and chuckled at the right moments, but everything was going in one ear and out the other. If someone asked Robert the next day what he had told Liv and Chas or how they responded, he couldn't have told them.</p><p>"Aaron Dingle's family?" the doctor called. When Robert stood up, his vision swam before his eyes, his stomach churned, threatening to force its contents back up. A steadying hand from Chas was the only thing that kept him upright. "You alright?" she asked.<br/>
"Fine. How's Aaron?" Robert asked the doctor. Chas, who was just as eager for information on her son, didn't press Robert any further.<br/>
Robert could see the doctor's lips moving, he could hear that Chas was asking questions, but Robert was having trouble concentrating or holding a clear train of thought. When the doctor turned and began walking, Robert followed, sure that she was leading him to Aaron.<br/>
Aaron was resting in a private room, still unconscious from the anesthetic from the surgery. He looked so small and vulnerable lying in the hospital bead. Robert couldn't help but notice just how similar he looked to last time they were here, not even a year ago yet. With all the wires sticking out of him and the oxygen mask covering his face, he look the same as he did that day, the day he had told Robert the most awful thing he'd ever heard. The day Robert earned Aaron's trust back; the day he had almost lost him.<br/>
All of the product had been washed from Aaron's hair on the way to the surface, and then the shore of the quarry, making his hair curl just the way Robert liked it. Robert thought Aaron looked fit however he wore his hair, but when it was soft and curly, it felt nice to run his fingers through or grasp in his fist. There was a strand of hair, barely out of place, but it was excuse enough for Robert. He tucked the hair back into place and rested his hand on Aaron's face for just a moment, reveling in it's healthy warmth.
Aaron stirred at Robert's touch, taking a second or two to figure out where he was.
"Hey lazybones" Liv said with a sniff.
Aaron smiled at her.
"Don't you ever do that to me again" Robert choked out.
Aaron nodded, "yeah."
"Good" Robert was so glad to here his voice again.
"No. I mean, I mean, Yeah" Aaron was smiling and Chas was hugging Liv, smiles huge on both their faces. Robert searched his pocket for the ring he so stupidly retrieved. He opened it and pulled the ring out, his head giddy with pleasure. He slipped the ring onto Aaron's finger and held his hand in his own, looking his fiancé ( fiancé!!!!) in the eyes. 
Barely a second later, Aaron's eyes fluttered closed and the machines he was hooked up to started beeping and flashing alarmingly. Just as quickly, Robert was being lead out of the room, the doors closing on him. 
He was trying to look in through the tiny window on the door, but there were too many people crowded around his bead. Robert couldn't breath. He really couldn't breath this time. Chas was saying something, but he wasn't listening. She pulled him away from the window, and he let her, leaning on her to keep him upright. Everything was tilting and righting itself at an alarming rate, and it was certainly not helping his breathing. Robert grasped at his collar, trying to unbutton the collar of his still wet shirt, only his hands were shaking too bad. His ribs ached and sent stabbing pains every time he tried to inhale, the pain causing him to wheeze out an exhale. His head felt like his heart was stuffed in his skull right next to his brain, pound, pound, pounding away, and he couldn't breath, he couldn't breath, he couldn't breath. He collapsed onto his knees, hand still resting on Chas's shoulder, only now she followed him to the ground. She was looking straight at him, and he could see she was trying to speak to him, but everything was getting darker, and darker, and darker. 


When he came too there was an oxygen mask on his face. He was still outside Aaron's room and Chas was still by his head, only there was a doctor next to her. "Can you hear me, Mr. Sugden?" the doctor asked. He nodded. "Can you sit up for me?" He nodded again. Robert was grateful for the doctor's helping hand as he wasn't sure he'd be able to sit up on his own with his ribs in this state. They stayed like that for a second, the doctor letting him catch his breath with the oxygen mask. After a moment he asked, "Do you think you can stand?" 
"I think so" Out of nowhere, Liv was offering him a hand up, which he accepted.
"He was in the car crash earlier. I don't he was ever checked over." Chas told the doctor
"Is that right? Did anyone check you for injuries when you came in?"
Robert shook his head, but that just made his headache worse. 
"Why don't you follow me, so we can get you taken care of?"
"Liv, go with Robert, I'll wait for Aaron and call Vic to tell her what happened"
Soon Robert was sitting on a bed, being asked all sorts of questions.
Who's the prime minister? 
What's the date?
What's 27 plus 14?
Robert's head was still pounding and his vision hadn't steadied yet, and with the churning in his stomach he wasn't surprised when he vomited. Thankfully, the doctor had seen it coming and was able to thrust container in front of him just in the nick of time. 
"Oh, Robert! What happened?!" Vic said as she entered just in time to see him empty his stomach.
"It look's like Mr. Sugden has a serious concussion"
"Why didn't you say anything?!" Vic chastised him.
Robert just gave her a miserable look. 
"Are you hurt anywhere else?" the doctor asked.
"I think my ribs broken" 
"Let's take a look"
The doctor lifted his shirt and Liv and Vic both inhaled sharply at the sight of his chest. His chest was already covered in dark, splotchy, purple bruises. He palpated Roberts chest gently, but it still hurt enough he had to hold his breath. 
"You seem to have fractured your bottom two and second to bottom left ribs, that sort of thing can be very painful, but I'll wrap it and you should be fine with rest." The doctor wrapped his ribs and Robert pulled his shirt back down.
"Is there anything else bothering you?" 
"I might have hurt my right calf, its been stinging pretty bad for a while" Robert admitted.
Robert swung his feet onto the bed and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a nearly six inch long gash from mid calf to just above the ankle.
"You've been walking around this whole time with a concussion, broken ribs, and a gash the size of London on your leg?" Liv said incredulously.
"Well, I was sat down for most of it." Robert joked.
As the doctor was stitching up his leg, he began to give Robert and Vic instructions for his recovery. 
"You don't need to be admitted, but judging by your level of disorientation and vomiting, your concussion is pretty serious, so I'd advise that you stay awake for the next 5-8 hours and call if any symptoms worsen or develop. You'll also need to come back in about 10 days to remove these stitches"
"So, him passing out, was that just the concussion?" Liv asked.
"Do you have a history of anxiety or panic attacks?" The doctor asked Robert.
"I've had a few. Right after my mum died and then again after I got shot" Robert admitted.
"Hhmm, I believe that was just a panic attack then"
The doctor finished stitching up his leg and wrapped it in clean gauze. 
"I'm free to go?" 
"If there's nothing else bothering you"
"Great, thanks!" 
Robert was still a little dizzy, so he through his arm around his sister for balance and support as the three of them walked back to Aaron's Room.
"You never mentioned you had panic attacks before" Vic said quietly.
"Not many, it's not a big deal."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Confrontation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Robert goes home and is confronted by an angry Chrissie.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I changed the ending a bit like a day after I posted this chapter, jus FYI.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That night Robert stayed in Aaron's hospital room. Technically, there weren't supposed to be overnight visitors, but the nurse acquiesced on the pretense of having to monitor Robert's concussion. Chas and Liv and Paddy were back in the morning with coffee and breakfast, though Robert didn't have much as he was still pretty queasy from the concussion and the broken ribs. They left around lunch time so Chas could get back to the pub for lunch rush, but there were visitors in and out all day dropping in to see Aaron after they had visited their own family. Adam and Vic came of course. Then Laurel and Gabby. Practically the whole village dropped by. Robert stayed the whole day and only left after both Aaron and Vic begged him to go home and change out of his dirty clothes and wash the quarry muck off him.</p><p>The dinner rush was just emptying out of the pub when they arrived. Robert walked in through the pub and was immediately slapped in the face. Robert grabbed his cheek and swayed, catching his balance.<br/>
"Oi!! He's got a concussion!" Vic shouted protectively at the same time Chas yelled from behind the bar, "What's all this?"<br/>
"You slept with my SISTER!!!" Chrissie shouted.<br/>
"Oh. Yeah." Robert said, understanding the situation better now.<br/>
"Is that all you have to say for yourself? 'oh yeah'?" said Chrissie in her shrill voice, "I can't believe I was ever naive enough to actually believe you loved me! Everyone warned me you were just in it for the money ! I should of listened!"<br/>
Robert's temper was already short given the last 2 day's he'd had, and Chrissie had always had a way of getting under his skin.<br/>
"I slept with your sister because I wanted to! I flirted with your father because I needed a job, or a raise, or a promotion! I married yUo because I loved you! And I thUOGht I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you!" Robert snapped, "If I wanted the family money, I would have married Lawrence! It would have been easy too--or did you miss the way he blushed like a smitten schoolgirl every time I laughed at one of his pathetic jokes?"<br/>
*SMACK*<br/>
The slap came from Rebecca this time. It knocked him off balance and he practically crumpled onto the bar counter for support, but he recovered quickly.<br/>
Robert knew he had been asking for it, but he just couldn't stop himself. He was sick and tire of everyone assuming the worst of him. Assuming his motives were purely selfish. He could have done worse if he had wanted to! Much, much worse!<br/>
It was Chrissie who spoke next, "You're despicable. I hate myself everyday for bringing you into our family. For all the pain and misery you've caused us!"<br/>
Her volume was steady, but her shrill voice quivered with hatred, "You're poison. You've been nothing but trouble to me and Lawrence and Lucky. Even Rebecca!"<br/>
Robert knew he had hurt Chrissie, and so he had taken all her blame and hatred for how things ended between them. At first he had been trying to mend things, to get back together, but after awhile, he just wanted to be done with the fallout. So he let himself be the "bad guy." He let her and Lawrence and Chas and Paddy blame everything on him. He never brought up all the many way's their relationship had been unhealthy, all the many signs--visible only in retrospect--it was doomed to crumble.<br/>
But today he was tired and in a generally shit mood and his concussion was probably keeping him from being the most sensible he's ever been.<br/>
So he said, "I slept with your sister. You MURDERED my aunt and FRAMED MY BROTHER FOR ATTEMPED MURDER!!!"<br/>
The pub was silent. Chrissie looked like she had been slapped.<br/>
"My sins do not justify your own. And they most CERTainly do not equal them! It's time you grow up and stop blaming others for yOUr mistakes."<br/>
Robert's face was still dirty from the crash and red from both the slaps. The glare he gave Chrissie as he walked past them and into the back made him look truly dangerous.<br/>
*****************<br/>
When he got into the back room, Robert collapsed onto the couch with his head in his hands. Vic followed him in.<br/>
"How's your head?" Vic asked.<br/>
"Pounding." Robert complained.<br/>
"You were kind of asking for that second one ya know."<br/>
"I know."<br/>
"Here, take this" Robert looked up to find Vic had gotten two ibuprofen out of her purse and was offering them to him.<br/>
He took them in his hand, "Any chance for some water?" he smiled as if to say 'pleeeeaase'<br/>
Vic got him some water and he took the pills.<br/>
Chas walked in from the pub.<br/>
"Well it was time someone straightened her out," she said with a chuckle.<br/>
"Cheers" Robert said, his head still in his hands.<br/>
"Anymore disgruntled exes I should know about?"<br/>
"Aaron already knows." Robert replied.<br/>
"I meant for me! I've practically had half the village make a scene in my pub over Robert Sugden!" Chas joked.<br/>
"No. Sorry."<br/>
"Are you alright?" Chas asked, "Those slaps could hardly have been good for that concussion!"<br/>
"I'm fine. I'm just so tire of being the bad guy, you know? Like I get that I hurt her and I get I was objectively a very shitty person, but she acts like she's an innocent little sweetheart! Like she isn't responsible for thrEE people's deaths! Like she's not the reason Sarah has to fight cancer, again, without her father their to look after her! Thanks to Chrissie, Sarah might never see her father again! Doesn't that make you furious?"
Robert was looking expectantly at Chas and Vic, his shoulders slumped.
"Oh, I am furious! But it really doesn't help that you've given her every reason to hate this family" Chase said.
"And there it is! If you go back far enough, everything is Robert's fault!" Robert said sardonically, "You know, I didn't even want to move back here? I told her I didn't get along with anyone in this village! I told her moving back here would just stir up trouble! And Lawrence believed me! That's why he moved us back here. He was trying to split Chrissie and I up and he knew there was no better way to make me look bad than to move back to the town where I was almost universally despised!"
"I can't believe I ever loved that woman," Robert added as an afterthought.
"What?" Vic asked, "You loved her?"
"Of course I loved her. Why else would I've married her?" Robert said matter of factly.
"Hang on, I thought you were gay?" Chas asked.
"No, I'm bisexual. I like women just fine, I just also happen to like men." Robert added with a chuckle, "Very much."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I changed the ending a bit like a day after I posted this chapter, jus FYI.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Cain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This chapter is from Cain's POV. For the purpose of this story, Cain is staying at the Woolpack with Chas and he is in a room on the first floor.  idk the actual layout of the Woolpack/house so lets just say his room is on the first floor facing the parking lot.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cain had spent the whole day handling the clean up of the car crash. A few of a the cars were in good enough shape that he could mend them at the garage, so he towed them there. The rest he towed to the scrap yard. Cain figured there was no hurry on breaking them down as Aaron was in the hospital and Adam had just lost his father. He planned on helping them breakdown the cars since he figured they'd both be off work for a little bit, but he was goin to fix the cars that could be fixed first.<br/>
Cain was able to get a pretty good start on the first car from the crash before he called it a day. He ate supper in the pub and saved Chas from all the gossip and speculation with his special Cain Dingle death glare. Robert came home from hospital that evening and made quite a scene in the pub with Chrissie and Rebecca. Cain had never been much of a fan of Sugden's, he thought he was awful smug and much too arrogant for having done very little in his life, but he did enjoy him putting Chrissie in her place. Sugden may have been an ass, but he had been unexpectedly decent with Aaron the past year. And Chrissie never did get what she deserved for causing that helicopter crash that nearly killed his Debbie and did kill three others. Her dumbstruck spluttering was such a delightful replacement to her usual self-righteous indignation.</p><p>Cain was wiped out from his long day of work. He was fixing the car's from the crash at barely half price, and he would be breaking down the rest for nothing, so Cain went to bed early, knowing tomorrow would be an early morning and a full day of work. He hung around the pub side of the house until he was sure that Sugden had gone to bed and his whole entourage of supporters had cleared out.</p><p>Cain slept fine. He slept fine until about 3:30ish in the morning. Cain's room was right under the stairs, so he was woken up when someone came thundering down them in the wee hours of the morning. He was just managing to fall back asleep when he heard the same footsteps stumbling back up the stairs, then back down and out the back door not 5 minutes later. Cain wasn't one to gossip or stick his nose in other's people's business, so he ignored it. He knew his sister Chas's footsteps, and he knew Charity's. and these were neither of theirs. It wasn't his problem if Sugden couldn't sleep. Cain turned over in his bed and covered his eyes and ears with a second pillow. The pillow barely blocked out the headlights and rumble of the car's engine, as it was parked almost directly in front of Cain's window. He did his best to ignore it and get some rest, but the lights and engine stayed on, unmoving, for almost half an hour.<br/>
Finally, Cain could take it no longer. He put on some jeans, a sweatshirt, and a pair of trainers, and then went outside to see what the matter was. </p><p>Robert was sat in the driver's seat of his car, the car Cain had so kindly driven home from the barn, just staring at the steering wheel. Cain walked around and knocked on the window, "Oi! What ya doin out here? It's freezing out?"</p><p>Robert rolled down the window, "I need to find Aaron, I need to know he's alright." Something was off with Robert, with the way he was speaking and holding himself. His hands were gripping the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were white, but he kept tapping his thumbs on the wheel. He was sitting straight up, his back not even touching the seat, and when he spoke to Cain, he turned his head out the window, but he never made eye contact.<br/>
"Have you got a call or sommat?" Cain asked, "Has something happened I don't know about?"<br/>
"No news. No call. I just--I just--I need to see him for myself. I need to know he's alright" Robert still wasn't making eye contact; he seemed disoriented and the new questions agitated him slightly, making him stumble on the phrasing of his response.<br/>
Cain hadn't liked Sugden at first, he had been an arrogant ass, but this marked the second time Robert had saved Aaron's life this year alone. And Aaron seemed pretty serious about him. So Cain said, "Alright, but I'm driving. You're not supposed to be behind the wheel with a concussion like that."<br/>
Robert scrambled out of the driver's seat and handed Cain the keys to his car.</p><p>Cain, still in his pajamas, started driving Robert to the hospital. Visiting hours weren't until 7am, but he figured he could smooth talk a nurse or something if it was a problem.<br/>
They were driving for about 10 minutes when Cain realized Robert had his eyes squeezed shut and the handle above the door in a vice grip.<br/>
"You alright?" Cain asked.<br/>
"Fine."<br/>
Robert's knee was bouncing like a nervous tick.<br/>
"You don't look it."<br/>
"It's just--we'll be passing the quarry in a few minutes"<br/>
"Oh, I can take the long way around. Visiting hours aren't for a while anyway"<br/>
Cain slowed the car and pulled a U-Turn before taking a turn a few miles back. They drove in silence. Robert's eye's were no longer squeezed shut, but he was still grabbing the handle above the door and fidgeting his legs.<br/>
Out of nowhere Robert said, "He told me to leave him down there. Aaron did. He was stuck under the steering column and the car was filling with water and he told me to leave him."<br/>
Cain didn't know how to respond. Robert's eyes were glazed over, like he was looking off at something that wasn't there. Cain wasn't sure how much of this was the concussion, and how much of it was just shock. An unsettling thought crossed Cain's mind: what if Robert was still asleep at some level. Chas had done all sorts while she was asleep after she saw Robert get shot. What if Sugden had PTSD too and was in the middle of a freak out? Cain barely knew him, how was he supposed to tell what was normal shock and what was reason for concern? But just then Robert added, "I know Aaron tried to top himself when he was a teenager, and I know he thought about topping himself when he was in prison for my shooting, and I know he self-harms sometimes."<br/>
"What're you on about?" Cain asked.<br/>
"Well, do you think that had something to do with it? Was his telling me to leave him--was that anything to do with his self-harm problems or suicidal history? Should I be worried about that?" Robert asked in reply.</p><p>Cain loved his nephew, but he never really understood that side of him. When Cain was upset, he lashed out at others. When Aaron was upset, there was no guessing whether he would lash out at others or himself, or both.<br/>"I didn't really think of it that way. I suppose we should keep an eye out, make sure he's handling things well."<br/>They lapsed into silence once more.<br/>It was around 5:30 am when they finally made it to the hospital. Cain had driven under the speed limit the whole way and they took the long way around the quarry. They parked the car and went in. Robert headed straight for Aaron's room, ignoring the nurse manning the front desk when she tried to stop him going through. Cain managed to sweet-talk the nurse since they were less than two hours away from visiting hours. </p><p> </p><p>Robert woke up to the sun shining brightly through the window's of Aaron's hospital room. His head was resting on his arms on Aaron's bed, Aaron's hand in his.<br/>"I thought you went home to get some proper kip?" Aaron said, alerting Robert that he was awake.<br/>"I couldn't sleep" Robert added, "What time is it?"<br/>"Half nine. Cain was in at seven, he said he had to get back to the garage, but that mum and Paddy should be in at lunch if you want a ride back."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I never know how to end a chapter. Sorry if it just ends abruptly. I'm open to tips and requests.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Scrapyard</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aaron comes home from hospital. Robert covers at the scrapyard.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two days later, Aaron was finally released from hospital with strict instructions to get lots of rest and return in a week to remove his stitches. Robert had slept at home at the pub those two nights, but he and Aaron had FaceTimed the whole night through. Robert hadn't slept very well, but whenever he woke up, he had Aaron on the other side of the phone, his steady breath proof of his safety. The pub was much to crowded for Robert, and Aaron had has and Liv and Charity to look out for him, so he went down to the scrapyard the next day. Robert knew Cain had towed some of the cars from the crash to be scrapped at the yard, so he thought he'd get a head start for Aaron and Adam. </p><p>To Robert's surprise, he wasn't the only one with that idea. Robert had been going a bit slower than usual, his ribs still aching and his bruises still fresh, so he hadn't gotten that far when Cain showed up just before lunch time. </p><p>"Aaron's at home resting and Adam's not in today," Robert said as Cain walked up.</p><p>"I know, I reckoned I'd help them scrap this lot," Cain said. "What you doing here anyways? Don't you have a concussion and broken ribs and all?"</p><p>"The house was getting a bit crowded, thought I'd come and get a head start on these."</p><p>"Right."</p><p>Robert turned back to the car he was scrapping. There was a bit of awkward energy in the air. Neither of them mentioned their early morning trip to see Aaron, but Robert felt like Cain's eyes were on him whenever he turned his back. This only made him more self-conscious of how slow he was going and how awkwardly he was carrying himself to avoid jostling his ribs. Robert was considering calling it a day when Cain showed up, but now he felt it would look bad if he left.</p><p>Cain clearly already thought he shouldn't be out here working, and he knew a man as tough as Cain would never understand Robert's reaction the other night. What Robert didn't understand was why Cain had been so cool about it. As far as he could tell, Cain hadn't told anyone. He hadn't mentioned it since. But Cain was as tough as Jack. What little respect he might have had for Robert was long gone after the mess he was the other night.</p><p>So Robert couldn't leave, not yet. Not until Cain did. Cain's opinion mattered to Aaron. And Chas. It would be practically impossible for Robert to rEaLLy be accepted by the Dingle clan if he didn't have Cain on side. Or at least apathetic. Chas seemed to have come round, but her opinion of Robert was fickle at best. Liv was the same, though a bit more understanding, being a Dingle outsider herself. </p><p>Robert had removed most of the parts from the bonnet of the car by now, so he moved onto the driver's side. He got out the power drill and worked on getting the door off the car. It had been crumpled in the crash, so it took a bid of maneuvering. Once or twice Robert actually grunted in pain when he jostled his ribs by accident, but he was pretty sure Cain hadn't noticed. He turned them into coughs as convincingly as he could. </p><p>After the door he started on the steering column. He was able to pry the plastic dashboard away from the wheel, but the column had been jammed right towards the passenger side in the crash. He tried his screwdriver, then a crowbar, then brute force before deciding he needed to come at it from a different angle. He walked round to the passenger side with his crowbar and tried from that angle. He pushed and he pulled at the crowbar from above the steering column and bellow, from an angle and straight on. It wouldn't budge. Finally he sat with his back against the door and started kicking at the steering column with his feet. His head banged against the window and he knew that he was upsetting his ribs, but he was somehow separate from the pain. He could feel it--the pounding in his head and the sharp aching in his ribs--but it was like he was watching from inside his own head.</p><p>"Oi! What the hell are you doing??!!" Cain's voice dragged him back into reality and he stopped kicking at the wheel. </p><p>"The steering columns stuck," Robert said dumbly.</p><p>"I can see that! What you doing banging your head against the window for? That's not going to do anything!"</p><p>Robert just looked up at hi, face blank.</p><p>"Come here!" Cain opened the passenger side door and pulled Robert out.</p><p>"Get on that side," Cain handed him a crowbar and picked up one of his own.</p><p>Together they pried the steering column loose from the car, using the crowbars for leverage from both sides.</p><p>"If you need help, ask for it! Don't just go kicking at things like a mad man!" Cain said exasperated as he went back to his own scrap.</p><p>***************************************<br/>Before supper, Robert went and showered off. He tried three times to get into the bathroom before it was finally open. By the time he got into the shower, the water was tepid, and by the time he was finished, it was frigid. It felt good on his ribs and ankle, though he couldn't stop shivering. Robert was still in just his towel when Aaron walked into their room.</p><p>Aaron took in a sharp breath at the sight of Roberts bruised chest, "that looks right painful!"</p><p>"It is," Robert said with a humorless chuckle.</p><p>"Shouldn't they be wrapped or something?" </p><p>"Probably. I can't really get the angle though, not without jostling them," Robert admitted.</p><p>"Let me."</p><p>Robert grabbed the roll of bandages of the dresser and handed them to Aaron. </p><p>"Hold this in place," Aaron said, handing Robert one end of the bandage as he wrapped the rest around his lower chest.</p><p>"How's this? Is it too tight?" Aaron asked, looking into Robert's eyes over his shoulder in the mirror. </p><p>"It's perfect, just like you," Robert said, turning around to kiss him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Still at the Scrapyard</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Adam is back at the scrapyard.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next day was the funeral. They all went. Robert tried to feel sorry for the Bartons, he really did. But every time he looked at the casket, or at Emma crying, at Pete or Ross or Finn, at his own brother-in-law, all he could think was "that was almost Aaron," and "thank god that's not Aaron." He shed a few tears at the appropriate times, but they were tears of panic and relief, not grief. And they weren't for James. </p>
<p>The day after the funeral Adam went back to the scrapyard. Aaron was still recovering, so it was just Robert and Adam for a few days. Robert didn't feel the need to prove himself to Adam like he had Cain, so he took it easier on himself, taking breaks in the cabin every few hours. He could see Adam was more distracted than usual, and less productive, but that was to be expected and they carried on in silence most of the day. </p>
<p>Robert took his lunch break before Adam did. It worked out that as soon as he was finished in the cabin Adam went in for his. Robert could tell he had planned it that way, but he didn't mind. Adam had finished on the bonnet of the last car from the crash while Robert was eating, so he started on the front seats. Most of the damage to this car was on the crumple zones--the boot and the bonnet--so the front seat was more or less alright. The steering column came out much easier this time. He got through the rest of the driver's before sliding over to the passenger seat and starting on the glove compartment. </p>
<p>Robert went to open the glove compartment and empty it--<br/>

</p><p>The ring was in the glove compartment, he could feel his way to it once he grabbed onto the open door.
He moved as quickly as he could, but the cold slowed everything down.</p>
<p>Robert was barely breathing.</p>
<p>"Robert its not moving!!!" Aaron looked at him with panic in his eyes, but Robert was frozen in place. He tried to take a breath in, but he couldn't seem to fill his lungs, the cold was too oppressive. </p>
<p>He loooked down at the glove compartment. It was closed. He opened it. There was no ring inside, just the manual, some CDs, and a map. Robert took a breath.</p>
<p>"You've gotta go."</p>
<p>Aaron's breaths were fast and heavy, but he was calmer now, resigned. Robert shook his head; he tried to object, but nothing came out of his mouth. His eyes blurred with tears.</p>
<p>Robert wiped his eyes, breathed in and out into his hands. He took the contents out of the glove compartment and turned to toss it out the open window--"No. No, no, NO!" Aarons voice whined. Robert whipped around, but the drivers side was empty.</p>
<p>He opened the center console to empty it and--"I'm trapped, I'm trapped. I'm trapped, I'm traaapped!"</p>
<p>Robert faced forward in the passenger seat and didn't move. He wasn't sure if he was holding his breath or just breathing so shallowly he couldn't even notice.</p>
<p>"You've gotta go"</p>
<p>No! No chanced!</p>
<p>His breath was fogging up the window. The dark, overcast sky and the green hills blended together behind the foggy window, and he was underwater again. </p>
<p>"Robert. I am not having you die in here because of me!"</p>
<p>I'm not leaving you! Robert just wanted to say, but he just sat there. Still as a statue. Not even breathing. </p>
<p>"Robert! I love you. I love you, okay? Please just go."</p>
<p>*tap, tap, tap* a hand knocked on the windshield because there was no window in the passenger side to knock on.<br/>"Robert," Adam said, his head lowered to the window. "Robert, you alright mate?"</p>
<p>"What?" Robert turned to look at Adam. "Sorry?"</p>
<p>"I said, 'You alright mate?' You was just sittin there staring, it was right creepy."</p>
<p>"Oh, yeah. Sorry, I must've zoned out for a second there," Robert said. "I haven't really been sleeping well since..."</p>
<p>"Go home if you want, I can handle it here"</p>
<p>"Nah, you're alright"</p>
<p>*************************************</p>
<p>Adam had been sat down in the pub for a few minutes now. Vic had made both their orders before she ended her shift for the night so she could sit and eat with him. Adam appreciated how wonderful she was being with all this. He could always count on Vic to be her happy, cheerful self, even if things were shite and it was just to bring a smile to his face. Most of the time it worked. </p>
<p>Vic placed their meals on the table and sat down to join him, taking off her chefs' cap. </p>
<p>"So how was work?"</p>
<p>"Fine. You know, the usual," Adam said. "Finished scrapping the cars from the crash today. Cain and Robert had most of em."</p>
<p>"Well that's good!" Vic said. "I hope Robert's not bothering you TOO bad. I know he can be a bit much sometimes."</p>
<p>"No, he was fine. Much quieter than usual." Adam added as an afterthought, "he seemed kind of off, actually. How's he been doing since the crash? I never asked."</p>
<p>"Concussed. And bruised. But other than that, he's physically fine. He did have a panic attack though, when Aaron coded. Apparently it's not his first."</p>
<p>"Really?" Adam said, surprised. "Robert Sugden has anxiety?"</p>
<p>"Well, I don't know, do I? The first I heard of it was at the hospital after he collapsed. The doctor asked him if he'd ever had any, and he said "a few" after mum died and then after he was shot."</p>
<p>"Wow, I never would've guessed it," Adam admitted. "He always seems so confident."</p>
<p>"That's what I thought! I really wish he'd tell me about these things."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Late Nights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aaron’s POV. Robert helps him<br/>With his nightmares.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please leave comments, I love reading them and I appreciate constructive criticism!<br/>This chapters kinda short, sorry.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aaron’s point of view<br/>“Hey, hey! Wake up!” Robert shook his shoulder gently.<br/>Aaron rolled over onto his back and turned to face him.  Robert was laying on his side, head propped up on his right hand, his eyes full of concern.<br/>“You were having a nightmare.”<br/>Aaron nodded and a few tears shook loose from his eyes. Robert wiped them away, leaving his hand on Aaron’s cheek. <br/>“About the crash?”<br/>“Mmhhmm” Aaron confirmed with a sniff.<br/>“Do you want to talk about it?” Robert asked gently.<br/>“No,” Aaron whispered.<br/>“Come here then,” Robert lay on his back and pulled him close.<br/>They lay there in silence, Robert’s arm around him, Aaron’s head on his chest. As Aaron lay there listening to Robert’s heart beat and feeling his chest rise and fall with each breath, his own heart beats slowed and his breath steadied and soon he was sleeping once more.</p><p>That happened most nights the first few weeks after the accident. Robert would wake him gently from a nightmare and he’d fall back asleep to the sound of Robert’s heart and rise and fall of his chest. <br/>Aaron started up with his counselor again, and it helped some. </p><p>One night after Robert woke him from his nightmares, he said, “sorry I keep waking you, I feel like a right idiot.”</p><p>Aaron’s head was on his chest and their hands were intertwined there too.</p><p>“You don’t wake me most nights,” Robert said, his hand rubbing soothing circles on Aaron’s back</p><p>“What?” Aaron tilted his head up to look Robert in the eyes.</p><p>“I have nightmares too sometimes,” Robert said, looking up at the ceiling. “And sometimes I just can’t sleep. Most of the time I’m already awake when I hear you moaning in your sleep.”</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“You can wake me when you have nightmares. You don’t have to wait until I do.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>He never did.</p><p>After that Aaron did his best to fall asleep on Robert like that at the beginning of each night, rather than after a nightmare. It helped. His nightmares became less and less frequent. He hoped that Robert’s did too. Robert insisted he was alright, but he never admitted to having nightmares or trouble sleeping after that night. He was masterful at changing subjects.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Even worse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Robert gets sick. Vic and Diane are worried.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I did a little bit of research for this, but most of the medical stuff is really soapy and not really accurate, I’m going off of chas’s ptsd storyline for what’s believable. Also, I think timeline-wise Chas and Charity own the pub rn, but for the purposes of this Fic, we're going to pretend like it's perfectly normal that the Sugden Family dinner is being held at the house attached to the Woolie. If you need an explanation pretend that Vic's stove is broken and Diane and Doug's kitchen is being renovated.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aaron had been back at work for almost a month now. Adam and the Bartons could almost smile again. The nights when Aaron didn't have nightmares were beginning to outnumber the nights he did. Robert hadn't been needed at the scrapyard for a while now and was well back to doing whatever it is he does for a living. The house was as crowded as ever.</p>
<p>"Wake up lazybones!" Aaron said, hitting Robert with a pillow.</p>
<p>"Uuuughh, I feel like death," Robert moaned, not bothering to remove the pillow from his face.</p>
<p>"You don't have a fever," Aaron said, the back of his hand on Robert's forehead. "If anything, you're colder than normal--You trying for a sick day?"</p>
<p>Robert sighed loudly and sat up. "No, I'm fine, probably just had a pint too many last night."</p>
<p>"Lightweight," Aaron said with a grin.</p>
<p>Robert threw the pillow back at Aaron who batted it away with a playful laugh. </p>
<p>******************************<br/>
Aaron and Robert met in the pub for lunch that afternoon after the midday rush. Robert ordered the soup of the day, potato leek. </p>
<p>"How's Adam doing?" Robert asked with a cough. "Its James' birthday today, isn't it?"</p>
<p>Robert coughed a few times more, a wet and raspy cough, the kind that stings your whole chest. He took a sip of water and longed for his warm soup.</p>
<p>"Yeah, he's doing alright. Bit distracted all day, but that's to be expected," Aaron admitted. "Apparently Ross and James and Finn are going into town tonight and they invited him along. He asked me to come, but I know we have your Sugden family dinner tonight."</p>
<p>"Well, I mean if Vic's not making Adam come," *cough, cough* "I don't see why you have to. If you want to be a mate and go into town with him, you should." Robert took another sip of water. </p>
<p>"You don't need backup at dinner tonight?"</p>
<p>"I think I can manage my family for one night."</p>
<p>******************************</p>
<p>Dinner wasn't supposed to be until 6, but Robert was exhausted by 3. He decided to leave work a bit early and try to sneak a nap in before dinner. Hopefully he wouldn't be feeling so poorly after.</p>
<p>Unfortunately for Robert, Vic was already in the kitchen cooking when he got in and enlisted his help with the preparations. Fortunately for Robert, his disgusting cough got him out of helping with the food and he was delegated to setting the table and tidying the sitting room. He thought he might be able to sneak a power nap on the couch, but Vic kept a conversation going from in the kitchen. </p>
<p>Diane and Doug arrived right on time with a homemade pudding, and Robert abandoned all hopes of a nap. They all sat and caught up for a few minutes while Vic's dinner finished cooking. Diane and Dough asked after Adam and Vic updated them on everything. Other than today being James birthday, nothing had really happened since the funeral. Robert mostly listened, zoning in and out of the conversation, but trying his best to nod and smile and spit out meaningless phrases at the right times. </p>
<p>Finally, they all sat down to eat. The food was passed around and the conversation continued. Vic's roast chicken was usually Robert's favorite, but he seemed to have lost his appetite. </p>
<p>"You alright Robert?" </p>
<p>Robert looked up, unsure who had spoken to him, "Sorry?"</p>
<p>"You've barely touched your food," Diane said, "and you've been staring at the same spot on the table for the past ten minutes!"</p>
<p>"And you've been coughing all day," Vic added.</p>
<p>"Sorry! I've been kind of out of it today."</p>
<p>"Come here," Vic said, reaching a hand out towards his forehead. "You're burning up! No wonder you're so quiet, you're poorly!"</p>
<p>"Why don't you go and have a lie down? We don't mind," Diane said caringly.</p>
<p>"You're sure? I don't want to be rude."</p>
<p>"Don't be silly!" Vic said at the same time Diane said, "Nonsense!" </p>
<p>**********************************************</p>
<p>After the dinner rush had all cleared out, Chas came through and joined them. Marlon was closing up, so she was done for the night. Diane let Doug head home after a while since she and Chas and Vic were catching up and Robert had already left. Liv came down at one point for some food, but after she ate they sent her back up to finish her homework. </p>
<p>Between the three of them, clean up went pretty quick. They soon found themselves on the couch sharing a drink and catching up some more on all the local gossip. Chas asked after Adam and they talked about James for awhile. Chas and James had been quite close once, though their relationship did crumble terribly towards the end. But he and Emma both had been incredibly understanding of her PTSD.<br/>They were all laughing over funny stories of the Bartons when they heard Robert come stomping down the stairs.</p>
<p>"Oi you alright? Come back to join the party?" Vic asked.</p>
<p>"Going to visit Aaron," Robert said, "just looking for my keys."</p>
<p>Vic turned around at that and finally got a good look at Robert. He seemed to be still half in pajamas. He was wearing his plaid pajama pants paired with a jumper he could've worn to work. His shoes were on, but the laces weren't done and he had his puffy jacket on top. He was scrambling round the sitting room and kitchen, looking in the bowls and on the counters for his keys. His breathing was heavy and he kept coughing wet and raspy into his sleeve.</p>
<p>"Visit Aaron?" Vic asked confused.</p>
<p>"At the hospital," Robert said, patting his pockets for his keys.</p>
<p>"At the hospital?" Chas asked alarmed, "Did something happen?"</p>
<p>"The car crash?" Robert said, eyes bloodshot and clearly irritated.</p>
<p>Vic caught on first, "No, Robert, that was ages ago, remember? Aaron went into town with Adam, everyone's fine."</p>
<p>"Found them," Robert said, grabbing his keys from the pocket of his coat on the back of a chair. "Damn, where's my wallet?" </p>
<p>"Robert, Aaron's not in hospital anymore," Vic said standing up. Robert was still searching, for his wallet now, and he hadn't looked at any of them this whole time. <br/>Diane and Chas shared a look of concern. <br/>Vic followed him around the room, trying to get him to look at her while she spoke. She finally grabbed him by the shoulders and said, "Robert, stop! Just look at me! Aaron's fine, he just went into town with Adam and the Bartons, okay?"</p>
<p>Robert had no choice but to look Vic in the face when she grabbed his shoulders, but there was something off about his eyes, like he wasn't fully taking in everything he saw. When stopped talking, she tried to keep eye contact, but he looked off to the side, and said, "I--I need Aaron. Just let me go see Aaron!"</p>
<p>"He'll be back soon! He's just gone into town," Diane said, her voice full of concern. </p>
<p>This just seemed to agitate him. He stepped back, out of Victoria's reach and stammered in a very un-Robert like way, "Look, I--I just--I need, I need to know he's alright!" He started forwards again, trying to step around Vic and towards the door, but she stayed in front of him. Diane put a hand on his shoulder, but he flinched away, walking backwards into the kitchen until he hit the counter where he sunk down to sitting, back against the kitchen sink.</p>
<p>"I can't loose, him, please," Robert begged (almost whined), voice small with tears in his eyes looking up at them.</p>
<p>"We'll call him, alright? Ask him to come home," Vic said.</p>
<p>Robert nodded, looking down.</p>
<p>Chas dialed him, putting the phone up to her ear. They waited, listening to the ringing muffled ringing from by her ear. "Voicemail."</p>
<p>"I'll try Adam," Vic said. <br/>No answer. <br/>They stayed like that, for nearly half an hour, trying Finn, and Ross, and Pete, then Aaron and Adam again. Robert sat back to the kitchen sink, knees curled up to his chest, arms resting on his knees. They listened for an answer, their silence broken only by Robert's coughing fits and sniffles. </p>
<p>After awhile, Vic sits down next to him and leans on his shoulder. The top of her head touches his cheek, and even through her hair, Vic can tell he's burning up. <br/>"Why don't we move over to the couch? You'll be much more comfortable over there."</p>
<p>Robert was calmer now, but where he had been close to hyperventilating before, Vic could barely tell he was breathing. He looked right awful, his face was pale--almost grey--his eyes were bloodshot and his nose was red. Vic sat next to him on the couch Chas sat in the kitchen, still trying Aaron every few minutes. They stayed in silence, Vic and Dian unsure of what to do. Diane finally grabbed a blanket and covered Robert up. </p>
<p>He grabbed her wrist and looking her in the eye said, "You can't tell him, Diane. Please. You can't tell Dad about Aaron. He'll hate me." Robert let go of her wrist and turned back forward adding, "he'll batter me like last time."</p>
<p>Diane and Vic looked at each other. </p>
<p>"Of course I won't tell him, Pet. Not if you don't want me to." After a moment Dian added, "Pet? What do you mean like last time?" But Robert seemed to have zoned out once more. </p>
<p>When Aaron finally came in through the back door, Robert shot up out of his seat. He hugged him so tightly he almost knocked the shorter man over. </p>
<p>"What's brought this on, eh?" Aaron asked with a small laugh. </p>
<p>"Missed you is all," Robert said, head tucked into his shoulder. </p>
<p>"You're burning up Robert! You should be in bed resting, you didn't have to wait up for me!" Aaron said exasperatedly. "Let's get you to bed."</p>
<p>With that Aaron led Robert up to bed. </p>
<p>"What did he mean, 'he'll batter me like last time,' ?" Vic asked horrified. "Diane, do you know what he's talking about?" </p>
<p>"No, of course not!" Diane said, shocked.</p>
<p>"He needs to see a doctor!" Chas said. "Either he's so ill his fever made him delusional, or he's got PTSD from the crash and that's makin him delusional."</p>
<p>"At the hospital, after he collapsed, the doctor asked if he'd ever had a panic attack before and Robert said he'd had a few, after mom died and then after he was shot," Vic told them. "You don't think that was some sort of panic attack do you?" </p>
<p>"I don't know pet"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Waiting, hoping, planning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Robert's friends and family try and convince him to get help.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning Vic and Diane and Chas met in the kitchen. They were waiting for Aaron or Robert to come down so they could share their concerns about the events of the previous night. Aaron finally came down at 10 with a mild hangover. <br/>"I'm glad I didn't drink as much as Adam last night, he must have a massive hangover!" Aaron told Vic, not noticing the worry on everyone's faces. "Robert got hit bad with the flu or something, so I'm going to drive him to the doctors, hopefully he can get something for that."</p><p>"Aaron, love, sit down," Chas said, "we need to talk to you. It's about Robert."</p><p>Aaron sat down with them at the kitchen table, "What is it?"</p><p>Chas began recounting the events of last night to Aaron with Vic and Diane chiming in with a detail here and there. </p><p>"Adam's noticed something's off with him, too. The other day when he and Robert were scrapping the cars from the crash, he said Robert was acting all weird, staring off into the distance and stuff," Vic told Aaron. "And at the hospital after the crash, he had a panic attack and collapsed and when the doctor asked him about it, he admitted that he's had them before, when he was a kid and after he was shot."</p><p>"We're worried about him love. Last night, he looked like I did when I was struggling with my PTSD," Chas told him.</p><p>"We're all going to talk to him, too. It's just--he might listen more if it comes from you," Vic admitted.</p><p>"Thanks for telling me," Aaron said, hand on his chin, shocked. "I knew he was havin trouble sleeping, but I never imaged anything like this! He never mentioned having panic attacks before, not even the one at the hospital after the crash."</p><p>"I'll take him to the doctor now," Aaron decided. "And I'll be sure to mention it there and see if he'll recommend a counselor for Robert."</p><p>*****************************************************<br/>The medicine the doctor gave Robert helped. He was much better and back to work by the end of the week. Aaron had brought up their concerns with the doctor, but Robert assured them he was fine on that front. The doctor gave him a counselor to call if he changed his mind. When Vic and Diane told him how he had acted that night, he apologized for scaring them, but insisted he had just been delirious from fever. When they asked him what he meant about Jack "battering him like last time" he got defensive and insisted that he had been delirious and that he genuinely did know what he had been talking about.</p><p>Throughout the week, Aaron tried his hardest to bring it up subtly, but subtlety was never his strong suit and Robert was masterful at changing subjects. Diane and Vic and Chas tried their best as well, but Robert always shirked them off. Vic tried to get him to tell her about his panic attacks, but he always found a way out. Chas talked to him about her experience with PTSD, and he was always really wonderful, listening to her and being understanding, apologizing for whatever part he had in it. But whenever she began to turn it around towards him, to enquire about his stress and coping since the car crash or the shooting, he suddenly had to get back to work or use the loo or help Liv with homework or a dozen other things. </p><p>This only compounded their concern because now that they were paying attention, they saw the signs all the more often. Robert insisted on driving whenever they went anywhere, and when he didn't he barely spoke except to say, "Eyes on the road Aaron!" Chas and Vic noticed that rather than jump at loud noises as Chas had when her PTSD was bad, Robert tensed and went still for a moment whenever he heard a loud noise. Adam caught him zoning out in the portacabin twice more, and when Liv and Noah got in from school one afternoon and found him asleep on the couch, he nearly jumped out of his skin when Liv woke him to ask what the plan was for supper. Aaron fell asleep before Robert each night and by the time he woke up each morning, Robert had already gone on a run and showered.</p><p>After two weeks of this--noticing more and more symptoms and failing to get Robert to talk about it or even hear them out--Vic gathered them all in the kitchen to strategize. Liv, who had begun noticed things herself and had finally been filled in and was tasked with dragging Robert into Hotten for school supplies or something while they strategized. </p><p>"So, what're we doing, Vic?" Aaron asked, when they were all there. Aaron was leaning against the kitchen counter next to Adam, Chas and Diane were sat at the kitchen table with Doug next to Diane and Vic standing at the head. </p><p>"Well, I think we're all agreed that Robert needs help. He's obviously not coping with the car crash, it might even go back as far as the shooting--I mean we never did find out who was responsible--" Vic didn't notice the glance Aaron and Chas exchanged, "and he needs to get proper help, to go to counseling or something!"</p><p>"Yeah, except he won't even admit anything's wrong, let alone phone a counselor!" Aaron said, annoyed, "I hAve been trying you know, Vic! We all have! But you know Robert, he's stubborn!"</p><p>"Which is whyyy, I'm proposing we hold an intervention. We sit him down and we don't let him leave until he hears us out!" Vic said.</p><p>Just then, Cain walked in through the pub, "what's going on in hear? A war council or something?"</p><p>"Vic is planning an intervention for Robert," Adam supplied.</p><p>"Is he still not coping with the crash?" Cain asked, his concern surprising everyone. </p><p>"What do you know about it?" Aaron asked, confused.</p><p>"Well, the first night he was home after the crash, he woke me up with all his racket, and then he was sitting outside in his car with his headlights on and the motor running for nearly half an hour. I finally went outside to see what was up and he was just sitting there trembling, staring ahead. He was trying to go see Aaron at the hospital but he couldn't seem to start driving. I just told him to get in the passenger seat and I drove him cuz he had that concussion. He was acting real strange, almost like Chas was when she was sleep walking, but I don't really know Sugden all that well so I couldn't be sure. Then at the scrapyard a few days later, he almost knocked himself out trying to kick the steering column free in one of the cars from the crash."</p><p>"Why are you only telling us now?!!!" Aaron asked, exasperated.</p><p>"Well, I didn't know it was relevant till now!" Cain said defensively. "I don't really hang around Sugden much, I didn't realize he was still strugglin!"</p><p>After almost an hour and everyone's help, they had a plan set for their intervention.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Intervention</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Robert's friends and family hold an intervention of sorts.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I did not do any research into how to properly hold an intervention. This is purely a plot device for soap opera drama. Do not use this as a template or example of a good intervention. This is probably exactly what you're not supposed to do, but for the purposes of this story, just pretend it's fine.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next day, they were all gathered in the kitchen/sitting room area. Vic and Adam, Diane and Doug, Chas and Aaron--even Cain was there. Once again, Liv was on Robert duty. She had "missed the bus" and called Robert to come pick her up. They were due back any second.</p><p>"Okay, remember: Robert's not leaving this room until he agrees to see a counselor," Vic reminded everyone.</p><p>"If it's not working, Vic, Vic you just start crying. and if thAt doesn't work, Aaron, you start crying next," Adam half joked. Aaron just rolled his eyes at Adam.</p><p>They heard the car pulling up and Robert and Liv getting out of the car. When they walked into the room, Chas slipped in front of the door behind them. Doug was already in position in front of the door to the pub. </p><p>"What's all this?" Robert asked confused and suspicious. </p><p>"We want to talk to you, Robert," Vic said, "We're worried about you."</p><p>"Well, thanks for your concern, but there's nothing to worry about, I'm fine." </p><p>"We're not blind Robert, we all see you struggling," Aaron said.</p><p> "What's that supposed to mean?" Robert said defensively. "I'm doing fine!"</p><p>"You're not, Robert! You're barely sleeping, you startle at loud noises. You zone out all the time. You're absolutely petrified to drive!" Aaron listed off.</p><p>"That's not true! I drive just fine, I sleep just fine. And everyone zone's out every once in a--" just then, Liv clapped once, solid and loud, right by Robert's ear. It was a dirty trick, but it proved her point. Robert froze mid-sentence, body tensing, breath stopping. He stood like that for just a few seconds, but with everyone in the room watching him, he could hardly pass it off. He finally took in a breath, "that proves nothing and you know it."</p><p>"Doesn't it though?" Liv asked rhetorically.</p><p>"Do you want us to list the evidence?" Vic asked. "We all have it."</p><p>"I understand you're concerned, and I'm flattered that you all care, but there is nothing wrong," he said slowly so they could understand each word. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work."</p><p>"Jimmy and Nicola are covering for you, mate" Adam told him. "You have to hear us out."</p><p>"No, I really don't," Robert said stubbornly.</p><p>"Look, maybe you're right, Robert. Maybe we're all imagining it. But there's no harm in talking to a counselor, if not for yourself, then for your family!" Adam reasoned. </p><p>"So I should waist their time when there are people out there who actually need counseling?"</p><p>"Okay then! If you're so fine, what the hell was that the other night? When you nearly had a panic attack because Aaron was here with you?" Vic demanded.</p><p>"Like I've said a thousand times Vic, that was probably just the fever!" Robert said, his hands were pressed flat against each other in front of him.</p><p>"It wasn't the fever, Pet. You were inconsolable," Diane finally joined in.</p><p>Robert just shook his head and shrugged, looking up and around but making eye contact with no one. He had no justification other than to blame his fever.</p><p>"What did you mean Robert? That night, you begged me not to tell your father about you and Aaron. You said he'd batter you like last time if he found out. Did Jack hit you Robert?" Dian asked.</p><p>"I don't know why I said that. Honestly, I really don't remember much about that night. I'm sorry I scared you."</p><p>"Doesn't that worry you though, Robert?" Adam asked. "You were up, walking around, talking to people for hours, and you don't remember any of it?"</p><p>"That's what I was doing, when I left my PTSD untreated. And look how that turned out!"</p><p>"Robert, I just don't understand what you have against seeing a counselor?" Aaron said. "You don't think less of mE for seeing a counselor, do ya?"</p><p>"No, of course not!" Robert said.</p><p>"Then what's the big deal about you seeing one?" Aaron asked.</p><p>"I dunno--I'm just, I'm not you, okay? I'm...I'm a Sugden, not a Dingle. We don't go to counseling, we just cope--I dunno?" Robert explained, grasping at straws. </p><p>"That's rubbish! Andy went to counseling. For his anger and then for his grief. I went to counseling after dad died," Vic said.<br/>"Yeah, but that's different."<br/>"How? How is that different?"<br/>"Well, one: no one died, I'm not grieving or anything. And two: it's different for you and Andy! Yous never had to earn the Sugden name, you always have been and you always will be Sugdens."<br/>"Robert, you're just as much a Sugden as me or Andy, you don't have to earn that," Vic said, voice full of concern. Aaron was starting to understand why Robert was acting this way. It all went back to Jack, of course it did. Robert wouldn't never see himself as good enough to be Jacks son, not after the way he reacted when he found out Robert liked blokes. <br/>"Is that it? You're not a farmer like your dad or Andy and you're not married to one like Vic. You'll never have a "traditional" family like your Dad wanted. So you can't go to counseling because that's the last straw, that's just one too many things your dad would disapprove of?" Aaron asked as gently as he could. Robert just looked at him, and he looked like he was drowning. His eyes were glistening. </p><p>"So don't be a Sugden, Robert," Robert's expression filled with confusion, so he continued. "Be a Dingle. You asked me to marry yah, didn't you? So be a Dingle, or a Sugden-Dingle! Dingles believe in counseling. You can be a Dingle, AND marry a bloke, AND go to counseling. You don't have to choose."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I never really proof read, sorry. I kind just word vomit and post lol.</p>
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